now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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