I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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