Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
