You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
