Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
