i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
