I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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