I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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