she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Found the puke drawer
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
