My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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