people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
