Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
