Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
