Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
