Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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