I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
