you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
