im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
