i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
