party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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