You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
