i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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