he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
