She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
