I will die if light touches me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
