Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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