Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
