He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
