Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
