she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
