I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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