This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
