I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
