laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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