Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
