I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
