wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
