I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
