I didn't shave. On purpose
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
