if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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