I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
