I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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