That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Houston, we have a blender
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
