what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
