how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
