You made me cry and you don't even care
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
