sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
