I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
