i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
