if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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