I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
