I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
