i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
